I hate hormones. Seriously. I can't stand them. This past week, my body must have been adjusting to something, because one second, I'm happy and bouncy... and the next, I just want to cry… and punch Micah in the face. Ugggh, women. Am I right? I fight through my hormonal issues pretty nicely, though. I have to remember not to take it out on the people I love… plus no one understands what's going on and it just pisses me off even more.
Anyway, this hormonal fit triggered an event including cutting tools. No, Micah wasn't home ;) lol A sudden urge to cut my hair overcame me this morning. Actually, It started last night when a few strands of my hair fell out of my ponytail and made it look like it was real short. My brain wheels got to spinning. Not the first time this has happened. In fact, I actually have a post-it note in my home management binder saying "Note: Do not cut you hair." hahaha! I always always always regret cutting my hair. Well, guess what, Mr. Post-it... I CUT IT!
And hey, hormones... I actually like it! So, take that! I really didn't think I was going to like it, because I've had short hair forever and always wanted long, flowing hair. When it would reach my shoulders, I'd get an itch to change it and would cut it all off again. Well, when I got pregnant, things changed. My hair grew very fast and without effort thanks to the vitamins, and I DIDN'T HAVE THE MONEY TO CUT IT. That's horrible, but you can laugh. My hair grew very long and I loved it. But I got used to it. I got to the point where I was wearing it the same every day and I was bored. That's the way my crazy girl mind works. I feel better when the things around me are pretty. When the pretty things become normal to me, I have to alter them. Gabriel likes it! He's been batting his eyelashes at me all afternoon. Micah likes it too. He said it's short and bouncy and cute… just like me. Cute and bouncy, huh? I'm not short, though. I like that he likes it. Another thing about my girl brain. Things always look better to me after he tells me he likes them.
I like that I like it too.
I like even more that I did it all by myself.
Mhmm… mamma cut her own hair!
Kickin' hormones in the butt.
The new look helped me get back to my old self. I like feeling refreshed. Micah doesn't understand how after the days like I have, I can still be smiling when he gets off of work. He says he wishes he could be young and happy like I am. I tell him my age has nothing to do with my disposition. My happiness is a choice. He also doesn't understand that I don't just wake up happy. I actually way up more tired than when I went to sleep and angry at the alarm! It's his sleepy face that gets my happiness bubbling. I sort of feel like it's my responsibility to help him love life. How is he supposed to love life if I'm as miserable as he is?
Not that he's miserable, but he's putting in an average of 12 hours of manual labor a day. I can imagine that I wouldn't be all that happy when I got home after that either. What kind of partner would I be if I met him at the door trying to upstage his misery? It's not in me. I want to tell him how tired I am, how hard I worked, and how much my back is hurting. Instead, I ask how his day was, try to make him laugh a little, and maybe even rub his back. In return, I have a man who is so tired, so worn out… but is smiling before we go to bed. Another pretty thing around me... that pretty much sums up my happiness.
Continuing my sentimental rant… In June, Micah and I will make 40 months together. Gabriel will make 22 months old. Hard to believe that we have now been parents for longer than our actual relationship before the baby. I love both of them more and more each day. It's easy to be happy when I get to call those two mine. We got lucky, though. For real. Absolutely nothing changed when we had Gabriel. We still do all the same things, we just get an awesome little dude to do them with us.
Last night, Micah got home at about 9:00 pm. After showering, eating, and catching his breath, it was time for bed. Right when my eyes closed, he said "I feel like I'm being robbed." I knew what he meant without asking… robbed of family time. It was the 3rd night in a row that he left before Gabriel was awake and got home after Gabriel was asleep. I couldn't think of anything to say to make it better, I just drew a heart on his hand with my finger. And like clockwork, Gabriel woke up and pulled his hair! They got to have some quality time at 10:30 pm.
Needless to say, we woke up late this morning. He left in a hurry. Forgot to say goodbye. My goodbye kiss is a must for a happy day. I guess he understands that part because he quickly came back through the door and kissed me goodbye and when he was leaving, he said "I really do like your haircut."
Aaaaah, bliss <3